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Help – My Sister Is Stealing My Wedding!

Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash

Our bride-to-be is looking forward to her soon-ish wedding, after two-ish years of planning. Unfortunately, her sister just got engaged to a new partner and has said that she’d like to have her wedding around the same time as our bride-to-be’s wedding.

Our bride thinks this is a dick move, the family thinks it’s a dick move, but they aren’t sure how to sort it out.

The bride is worried that anything she says will be taken as a criticism of her sister’s new partner, or of the new relationship overall. She also wasn’t sure if she was being a “bridezilla” and didn’t want to rock the boat if it was only a big deal to her.

Well, there’s good news on that front – only 10% of OAW Poll voters thought that the sister wasn’t out of line. The word “wagon” was thrown, fast and loose, in our direct messages.

When it came to taking action, readers had some pretty solid advice.

Blame The Family

I think it was Celina on the One Fab Day Podcast who mentioned that you can blame your venue for anything your guests give out about – having a no-kids policy, for instance.

The logic there applies in this situation too. Weddings can be a strain on families – both emotionally and financially. Get them to speak to your sister and let her know that people could struggle to afford two weddings in such a short space of time. This way, you don’t even have to say that you think she’s being a geebag.

One reader commented:

“The whole family will be exhausted after two important weddings. They’ll be more receptive, excited and supported if the weddings are spread out.”

Another said:

“Come at it from the guests’ view. Two family weddings will strain finances.”

Get The Facts Out

Most readers recommended clearing the air as soon as possible. Like, as soon as possible. There was a lot of ALL CAPS in my inbox. This is good advice. In fact, there aren’t many tricky wedding situations that can’t be improved by being direct with all involved parties.

Keep a cool head, stick to the facts and jump ship when she brings up how you broke her Barbie’s hip in 1992. You’re there to sort things out with a constructive chat – it doesn’t have to be a row.

The Outcome

Our bride was extremely grateful for the encouragement, so thank you for the messages! She liked one particular point about how her sister wouldn’t have her own build-up to the wedding to enjoy, so ran with that. The sister seemed to agree, and, with a few other things considered, has pushed the wedding back.

The OAW Verdict

I’ll always give a little leeway to friends and family who haven’t planned weddings themselves. They can get in the way without meaning to, and I feel like that’s what went on here – it sounds like the sister backed down when she had all the facts.

The takeaway? Don’t assume people are being malicious without first ruling out that they might just be unaware of how badly they’re affecting you.




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