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How to Avoid Friendor Horror Stories at Your Wedding | Friendor Guide

How to Avoid Friendor Horror Stories at Your Wedding | Friendor Guide

via We Heart Pictures

‘Friendor’ is a contraction of vendor and friend. It describes a pal who has agreed to provide a service for your wedding. Usually, the pal who is doing the favour will actually be a vendor by trade, but the definition extends to hobbyists too. It’s commonplace for friendors to provide a service instead of a wedding gift, or to give couples a generous discount. It’s also common for thing to go badly. Really badly.

Be Cautious of Early Enthusiasm from Friendors

Friends who could help out with something at your wedding might make lots of promises during the excitement of an engagement announcement. Don’t take anything too seriously until the celebrations have died down: even sensible pals can get carried away when Prosecco is flowing and love is in the air. They might not have considered if they have the skills or time you’ll require, or if they’ll be in a position to take on unpaid work at the time of your wedding.

The fix? Thank them when they offer, but wait until they’ve cooled down before broaching the subject again.

You Get What You Don’t Pay For

If your friend isn’t a professional, maybe it’s best that they don’t play a crucial role in your wedding. While slightly smudged calligraphy might get on your nerves, it won’t be as problematic as a DJ who doesn’t have their own speakers, or a photographer who doesn’t back up their images.

For the big things, the things that you absolutely want to work seamlessly, invest a few quid and thank your friend for their offer.

Good Friendors are Good Friends

Ideally, you should know your friendor well. They’ll be shouldering a lot of responsibility, so you’ll want to be confident they’re not prone to flaking on plans, getting cold feet or doing things by halves.

We’ve spoken to brides who received texts on the morning of their weddings from friends of friends who’d agreed to DJ, photograph or sing at their weddings, respectively. Avoid that nightmare by declining offers from non-professionals that aren’t very good pals.

Be Totally Open

Friendors who aren’t very experienced might not be clear on what’s expected of them. That might not be such a worry if they’re doing crafting some decor that will be can be made weeks in advance, but day-of vendors will need clear direction.

If you’re paying anything at all, try to sign a contract. If their service is a gift, try to have an open (and polite) discussion about what they’re comfortable doing and what your expectations are. It might be difficult to navigate, but it’s better that everyone is on the same page as early as possible.

It’s also massively important that you can be honest and direct when speaking to your friendors. If you feel to awkward to work out kinks with people you’ve got personal relationships with, you should stick with professionals.


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